What Makes My heart Beat

Here are my answers to the above list.  This is going in my dream book and I thought I'd share it with y'all=)

1. Trudy Renee Hest
2. Born in Fargo, ND Currently live in Appleton, WI
3. I work at Target.
4. In no specific order: Nieces and Nephews, Camping, God, Husband, My dogs Scrapbooking
5. Bringing Joy to others
6. AHHHHHHHH!!!
7. I value my marriage, my special relationship with my niece Amber, my relationship with God. My dogs are very precious to me. They help fill that void of not being able to have children.
8. Fashion:
I’m a very simple fashionista. I like solid colored cardigans a lot. I like flowing skirts, funky socks, Danskos and flip flops, beige Victoria Secret bras and Grandma panties.
Music:
When it comes to music I like folksy singer songwriters. I like music I can relax to and have on in the background. I like my music to have a creative force behind the music.
Life:
My life is boring and I’ve come to like it that way more and more. I used to want to be doing something most of the time and be the life of a party but now I’m fine being in the background and not even attending the party. I have a wonderful and husband and dogs to spend my life with but have a horrible void of not having children in my life.
9. Everything happens for a reason and that reason is God’s way of teaching us about life. I honestly believe one cannot have true happiness in life without faith in a higher power. That faith is what fills up ones soul and gives us reason to live everyday and gets us through hard times.
10. I dream of doing something substantial with my life. Working at Target is not that. I want to bring joy to people and lighten people up. People live life so seriously and don’t have enough fun…I’m here to show people life can be lived with joy and fun! Right now I would love to answer phones and be the smiling face greeting people behind a receptionist desk. When people go into any kind of office, if they’re greeted by a person without cheer that can really impact ones hour or even day….I want to make someone’s day! I am currently looking at new job opportunities to do just this.

The Me I Want To Be

I've started reading John Ortenberg's book The Me I Want To Be. I've been in a horrible rut lately.  I'm not at the job I want to be and it's really wearing on my soul.  Grant who is awesome at playing tough love with me was dropping me off at work one day.  I looked up at the Target sign and instantly started crying saying "I just cannot do this anymore Grant!" He gave it to me and said..."Then do something about it!" That hit me like a ton of bricks but worked.  I've been looking, and even actually have the confidence that I am worth more than going to work at a place I no longer feel passionate about.  That's hard for me because I always have this inner voice that screams at me "your no better than a retail job" or "you never finished your college degree how do you expect to do anything else!" we are our worst critics after all. I'm not a depressed person on a normal basis (trust me, I used to be and it was a horrible way to spend my life), but when something or someone gets to me I can let it eat me up and consume my every waking moment and work is doing this very thing to me now.  I then let bitterness take over my thoughts and it's kinda funny cause every bitter thought I follow with a pratical thought of how good my life actually is. It's like I tell myself that I should be bitter cause I cannot have a child and I probably will not , and then I get bitter, but then find myself wondering why because God has blessed me with such awesome nieces and nephews.  I'm at constant battle with myself and it's quite strange.  In the clip below he talks about how God has self designed our temperment and although we may want to be someone else, we won't be.  I've always wished I wasn't so loud and open but I am, that's me and I'm learning to love who I am.  Some may not like it and I get hushed a lot and weird looks but that's me and I cannot be someone else as much as I've tried.  In the clips he stated two lists we make, I should be.... and I am.  Well here is my lists:
I should be:
More Quiet
Assertive
Have a college degree
have a want to be more successful
A mom
Not Divorced
Have had a wonderful one time wedding of my dreams
Closer to my sisters
Cook More
Thinner


I am:
Loud and crazy
"just" a target employee
Not a mom but an aunt
Divorced
a person without wedding photos
not close to my siblings
a girl who eats out to much and allows my husband to do the same
overweight
generous
passive
very in touch with my emotions
not someone who ever wants to be in charge but wants a job that feels fullfilling
not good with money
not confident
good listener
Not going to tell your secret


So as I was talking to my cousin Tricia the other night about an I am list I've decided I'm going to make a I am list of just things I want to be and am but nothing negative.  So once I sit down and make it I will share it beings I am an open person(: I would take the time and watch this clip and read the book.  Very good stuff


http://www.themeiwanttobe.com/index.php

I'm in a musical Mood part II

I didn't want to make one long forever post so thought I'd split it up so let us continue...

Favorite Christian Songs:

Better Than a Halleluja by Amy Grant

Breathe by Rebecca St. James

Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin

I also love How Great is our God by him

Favorite Love Songs:

                                                              Let me warn you I dont have traditional
                                                              love song taste as most=D

Ice Cream by Sarah McLachlan

Voice of an Angel...love her!!!

Pecan Pie by Golden Smog

Not the best version but it is from St. Paul so I had to use it=D

Take me as I am by Wyclef

Today's music or within the last 5 yearsish

Price Tag by Xenia

I heard this for the first time on the voice and I don't like the original just this version

Hide N Seek by Imogen Heap

It's from 2005 but it's more recent than a lot of stuff I like so I'm going to call it recent

Breakeven by the Script

I have grown to love love this band! 

I'm in a musical mood!

I know that this is going to age me a bit  but geez there just really isn't good music today like there was in the 90's and before.  I feel for kids who all they have to listen to is hiphop/rap.  Don't get me wrong I love to workout to the stuff but otherwise I want my old school music.  I do tend to like singer songwriters the most. I tried to categorize them... The following are some of my favorite songs and I may miss a few cause I have a lot but these are some that pop in to my head.....

Shawn Mullins, Shimmer
Singer/Songwriter
Grant and I have seen him twice and LOVE him!  He is a fabulous songwriter and storyteller!

Fall On Me, R.E.M
Band
R.E.M has been my favorite band since 6th grade.  I used to believe I would really marry Michael Stipe and we'd live happily ever after and I'd drive an old orange volvo station wagon and we'd live in warm athens, GA.  Well the good lord had different plans for me but I still think they're legendary!  I own over 30 Cd's including interview and imports. 

Take on me by Aha
80's
There is just something about this one hit wonder I have always loved.  I used to request to sing it karaoke just to hear it but slaughtered it cause who really can sing that high??

Smiling Face by James Taylor
Lift my spirits
I love love love JT!!!  I love watching him when he was young and now that he's older!  I have a major crush on him! One of my favorite get happy songs

With my own two hands by Ben Harper

Lift my spirits

Sexy man sexy voice and I just heart him!

Mellissa by the Allman Brothers

Vintage

This song was introduced to me by my college friend Sarah.

Up on Cripple Creek by the Band

Vintage

Nothing really to note about this song except that I love it and it makes me happy and nod my head