What Makes My heart Beat

Here are my answers to the above list.  This is going in my dream book and I thought I'd share it with y'all=)

1. Trudy Renee Hest
2. Born in Fargo, ND Currently live in Appleton, WI
3. I work at Target.
4. In no specific order: Nieces and Nephews, Camping, God, Husband, My dogs Scrapbooking
5. Bringing Joy to others
6. AHHHHHHHH!!!
7. I value my marriage, my special relationship with my niece Amber, my relationship with God. My dogs are very precious to me. They help fill that void of not being able to have children.
8. Fashion:
I’m a very simple fashionista. I like solid colored cardigans a lot. I like flowing skirts, funky socks, Danskos and flip flops, beige Victoria Secret bras and Grandma panties.
Music:
When it comes to music I like folksy singer songwriters. I like music I can relax to and have on in the background. I like my music to have a creative force behind the music.
Life:
My life is boring and I’ve come to like it that way more and more. I used to want to be doing something most of the time and be the life of a party but now I’m fine being in the background and not even attending the party. I have a wonderful and husband and dogs to spend my life with but have a horrible void of not having children in my life.
9. Everything happens for a reason and that reason is God’s way of teaching us about life. I honestly believe one cannot have true happiness in life without faith in a higher power. That faith is what fills up ones soul and gives us reason to live everyday and gets us through hard times.
10. I dream of doing something substantial with my life. Working at Target is not that. I want to bring joy to people and lighten people up. People live life so seriously and don’t have enough fun…I’m here to show people life can be lived with joy and fun! Right now I would love to answer phones and be the smiling face greeting people behind a receptionist desk. When people go into any kind of office, if they’re greeted by a person without cheer that can really impact ones hour or even day….I want to make someone’s day! I am currently looking at new job opportunities to do just this.

The Me I Want To Be

I've started reading John Ortenberg's book The Me I Want To Be. I've been in a horrible rut lately.  I'm not at the job I want to be and it's really wearing on my soul.  Grant who is awesome at playing tough love with me was dropping me off at work one day.  I looked up at the Target sign and instantly started crying saying "I just cannot do this anymore Grant!" He gave it to me and said..."Then do something about it!" That hit me like a ton of bricks but worked.  I've been looking, and even actually have the confidence that I am worth more than going to work at a place I no longer feel passionate about.  That's hard for me because I always have this inner voice that screams at me "your no better than a retail job" or "you never finished your college degree how do you expect to do anything else!" we are our worst critics after all. I'm not a depressed person on a normal basis (trust me, I used to be and it was a horrible way to spend my life), but when something or someone gets to me I can let it eat me up and consume my every waking moment and work is doing this very thing to me now.  I then let bitterness take over my thoughts and it's kinda funny cause every bitter thought I follow with a pratical thought of how good my life actually is. It's like I tell myself that I should be bitter cause I cannot have a child and I probably will not , and then I get bitter, but then find myself wondering why because God has blessed me with such awesome nieces and nephews.  I'm at constant battle with myself and it's quite strange.  In the clip below he talks about how God has self designed our temperment and although we may want to be someone else, we won't be.  I've always wished I wasn't so loud and open but I am, that's me and I'm learning to love who I am.  Some may not like it and I get hushed a lot and weird looks but that's me and I cannot be someone else as much as I've tried.  In the clips he stated two lists we make, I should be.... and I am.  Well here is my lists:
I should be:
More Quiet
Assertive
Have a college degree
have a want to be more successful
A mom
Not Divorced
Have had a wonderful one time wedding of my dreams
Closer to my sisters
Cook More
Thinner


I am:
Loud and crazy
"just" a target employee
Not a mom but an aunt
Divorced
a person without wedding photos
not close to my siblings
a girl who eats out to much and allows my husband to do the same
overweight
generous
passive
very in touch with my emotions
not someone who ever wants to be in charge but wants a job that feels fullfilling
not good with money
not confident
good listener
Not going to tell your secret


So as I was talking to my cousin Tricia the other night about an I am list I've decided I'm going to make a I am list of just things I want to be and am but nothing negative.  So once I sit down and make it I will share it beings I am an open person(: I would take the time and watch this clip and read the book.  Very good stuff


http://www.themeiwanttobe.com/index.php

I'm in a musical Mood part II

I didn't want to make one long forever post so thought I'd split it up so let us continue...

Favorite Christian Songs:

Better Than a Halleluja by Amy Grant

Breathe by Rebecca St. James

Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin

I also love How Great is our God by him

Favorite Love Songs:

                                                              Let me warn you I dont have traditional
                                                              love song taste as most=D

Ice Cream by Sarah McLachlan

Voice of an Angel...love her!!!

Pecan Pie by Golden Smog

Not the best version but it is from St. Paul so I had to use it=D

Take me as I am by Wyclef

Today's music or within the last 5 yearsish

Price Tag by Xenia

I heard this for the first time on the voice and I don't like the original just this version

Hide N Seek by Imogen Heap

It's from 2005 but it's more recent than a lot of stuff I like so I'm going to call it recent

Breakeven by the Script

I have grown to love love this band! 

I'm in a musical mood!

I know that this is going to age me a bit  but geez there just really isn't good music today like there was in the 90's and before.  I feel for kids who all they have to listen to is hiphop/rap.  Don't get me wrong I love to workout to the stuff but otherwise I want my old school music.  I do tend to like singer songwriters the most. I tried to categorize them... The following are some of my favorite songs and I may miss a few cause I have a lot but these are some that pop in to my head.....

Shawn Mullins, Shimmer
Singer/Songwriter
Grant and I have seen him twice and LOVE him!  He is a fabulous songwriter and storyteller!

Fall On Me, R.E.M
Band
R.E.M has been my favorite band since 6th grade.  I used to believe I would really marry Michael Stipe and we'd live happily ever after and I'd drive an old orange volvo station wagon and we'd live in warm athens, GA.  Well the good lord had different plans for me but I still think they're legendary!  I own over 30 Cd's including interview and imports. 

Take on me by Aha
80's
There is just something about this one hit wonder I have always loved.  I used to request to sing it karaoke just to hear it but slaughtered it cause who really can sing that high??

Smiling Face by James Taylor
Lift my spirits
I love love love JT!!!  I love watching him when he was young and now that he's older!  I have a major crush on him! One of my favorite get happy songs

With my own two hands by Ben Harper

Lift my spirits

Sexy man sexy voice and I just heart him!

Mellissa by the Allman Brothers

Vintage

This song was introduced to me by my college friend Sarah.

Up on Cripple Creek by the Band

Vintage

Nothing really to note about this song except that I love it and it makes me happy and nod my head

My Love of Kids Music

Today I put together my kids craft binder, set up the little room in the basement as a craft room and put together a kids play list. I'm super excited to have my niece here and do all kinds of creative stuff along with dance and sing! Below are a couple of my favorite kid songs...if you have children  and have some song suggestions for me by all means share them with me!

I could only find a live version of this song.  It's Bottle of Sunshine by Milkshake!  Love them!

I love to do this dance! You can't not smile while doing it!

Fun song for anytime of the year not just Halloween..Trust me!

One of my favorite all time movies and my favorite song off of this soundtrack! 

There are many other kid songs I love and if I get time I will post some more for those with kids who want to get up dance and sing=)....or like me that doesn't have kids but still likes to connect with the inner child

New Ways I've Found to be More Green

Those who know me, know I'm always looking to make my own products for around the house and do away with the toxic counterpart.  This past week I cleared out all chemicals I had left from under my sink and will be putting it in a garage sale next month.  I made a vow that if I need something to clean, get a stain out etc..with I will find the safe non-toxic way in doing it.  So I finally went through a book I bought at a book sale and found some new ideas:

The First two are ones I was still buying but don't have to any longer...WOOT WOOT!

Dishwasher's Soap:

3/4 C Castile Soap (I bought the organic Dr. Bronners at Target)
1/2 C Water
5-10 drops lavender or rosemary essential oil (I got lavender scented castile soap so I probably won't add this)

Dusting Spray:

1/4 C Vinegar
3 drops olive or Jojoba oil
3-5 drops essential oil

All Purpose Spray

1 C Vinegar
2 t Borax
1/2 t castile soap
2 C Hot  Water
Shake in a spray bottle.  Keeps indefinitely.  I posted a recipe for all purpose spray in one of my first posts and this one just doesn't use the dish soap. If you've used and tried the other recipe (I LOVE it)!, I would guess you could follow it and just use the above dishwashers soap you make.

Dishwasher Cleaner

1 C Vinegar

Place in dishwasher safe cup on top rack and run on rinse cycle.  I tried it and I was very pleased with the results!

*To clean the drains in your home once a week pour a teakettle of boiling water down the drain. To deodorize or open up a slow running drain pour a 1/2 C baking soda and then a 1/2 C Vinegar in drain then cover with wet rag.  Let fizz 5 minutes and flush with boiling water
*To disinfect and sharpen disposal blades, freeze white distilled vinegar in ice cube tray and grind cubes while running water

Natural Shoe Polish

Grant uses shoe polish so I was excited about this!
Dime size of jojoba oil and a squirt of lemon to an old tshirt.  Rub mix in a circular motion and then buff shoes with clean end of tshirt

Baked on Food

1/4 C baking soda
Boiling water
Soak overnight

Burned Pots

1/4 C table salt

cold water
Stir and sit overnight

Tips:

For my windows I bought an Eco-cloth and LOVE it! No streaks and gets my windows and mirrors clean with just water!

When shopping avoid buying items in plastics with these numbers on them
3, 6, and 7
these are know as the "bad" plastics

I have a green recipe book on my flash drive ready to print out at anytime with all the recipes I use and love so feel free to give me your address and I'll send you one or however many you want!  I love sharing what I've researched to be some awesome green ways to clean and help others jump on the bandwagon as well! Of course my recipes are printed on 100% recycled printing paper and it's put in a 100% recycled folder

Documentary Recommendations

So I was reading my earlier post about all I wanted to accomplish the 3 weeks I'm off work.  Well I'm down to this being my last week (insert tear here) and oops haven't got a whole lot of it done!  I've done some major dream booking my first week home then nothing. Today I'm doing more dreambooking though.  I spent a day watching documentaries that were not on my movie list and was enlightened! Here is my run down on them:

No Impact Man

I loved this one!  I was and am super inspired to live even more green than before.  As many know we make all our own cleaning supplies except for laundry soap (which I used to) and dish soap, which my bottle now is my last boughten.  I do use seventh generation so hopefully they're as good of a company as they say they are.  I've been doing a little more research on some toxins I can still cut out of the home and I will share in a later post. I honestly didn't think anything they did was crazy or things that we could all practice.  I really want to start a no electricity night a few nights a week and play games by candlelight...soy of course=)

Modify

If you watch this you can be easily grossed out because some things gave me the willies!  I did not know people did such crazy things with their body. Very interesting and if your interested in weird things people do with their bodies it's for you

Food Matters

I've watched enough food documentaries to not eat McDonald's or any other nasty ground up sh*&  This was not so much to gross one out like food inc but was more educational about how food correlates with so much of how we feel mentally and physically. I highly recommend this!

Fall From Grace

This film is about the Westbro Baptist church in Kansas (I believe).  The pastor there and his followers (mostly his family) picket at homosexual events and funerals of fallen soldiers.  It's everything to me as a Christian that we are not and people who see this as the way they think Christians are is very sad to me.  I was deeply disturbed by the children being taught such hatred.  Interesting that people think this way and it should make you angry if you decide to watch it.

I've also watched Lisa Ling's Our America series on the OWN network and they are wonderful!  I watched one on the heroin epidemic in Richmond Co Ohio, one on Sex Offenders, One on Praying the Gay away, One on Faith Healers.  Makes one look at both sides of a situation.  I'd suggest trying to watch any of these. 

So there you have it..hopefully my laziness has benefited someone in someway=D